The Mip Chronicles

NEW GAME – housndespli  vs. Harv63

housndespli: hello mip!

housndespli: HELLO MIP!!!!!!

Harv63: hi

housndespli: how is it being harv63?

Harv63: okay

housndespli: IT SOUNDS AMAZING!!!

housndespli: I AM HARV64

housndespli: HEAR ME ROAR

housndespli: I AM HARV65

housndespli: HEAR ME JIVE

housndespli: can you hear me jiving?

Harv63 has disabled chat

***

“Mip”.  No response. “Mip mip”, I type. Still nothing. I’m meant to sound like Roadrunner, but Gykus10’s unlikely to get that particular cultural reference. Even if he does, what do I expect him to do? The little flag next to his username tells me he’s from Slovenia, mine says I’m from Israel. I’m not, obviously, but every little helps when it comes to winding up the opposition, and on that front the Israeli flag is worth its weight in blue-and-white-striped gold. I don’t care what sets them off, I just wanna wind them up, whether via religious goading or cartoon mippery, I don’t care. I’m so drunk, way past the stage where it’s either big or clever. I’ve lost three games in a row, and Gykus10 looks like he’s gonna scalp me as well. Two pawns down, only thirty moves in. “Mip”, I type, feet tapping the carpet, cigarette hanging from my pursed lips, ash parachuting down onto the desk. No response. My move. Bishop takes knight, pawn takes bishop, straight swap. I’d do that all day, mate. Hate bishops, love knights. It’s in my genes. Bishops are too fucking obvious, they’re like trains stuck to their diagonal rails: if they’re born black, they stay black till the grave, if white, stay white. No room for manoeuvre, no mixed marriages. Boring, basic, bland. Easy to stop a bishop, like it’s easy to derail a train – shove a pawn over the tracks and what’s he gonna do? Knights on the other hand are like dandelion spores. Can’t catch ‘em, don’t know where they’re going next, can’t compute their random leaps and bounds into your forecast for how the game will pan out. Officially, a knight and a bishop are both worth three points, but not to me, so I’ll take the trade every time. Clock ticks, whisky glistens, eyes hurt, brain slows. Brain’s been slowing for hours now, for weeks really if I’m honest, but I’m not honest. I’m a liar. I lie to my opponent, I lie to myself, I lie to the sun, moon and stars. I lie for business, I lie for pleasure. I lie because I can, I lie because I can’t. Clock’s still ticking, try to focus, try to think. Can’t do everything at once, stub out the fag, drain the glass. Left arm’s tingling, not lightly either. Gonna have a heart attack. Gonna have a seizure. Gonna have another whisky, calm the nerves, fight fire with fire. His move, my move, his move, my move, pull a pawn back, but by doing so lose control of the central four squares. Fucking clown. I love those squares, they’re the Mayfair of the board. Own them, own the world. And now I don’t. Walls closing in. “Mip”. “Mipmip”. Phone rings, it’s her, fuck off, go home. “I’ll call you back in ten”, I slur. She scoffs, slurring too. We all slur these days. Me, her, them, us, bet Gykus10 doesn’t though. Slovenians don’t have time to slur. Too busy butchering. Nazis. Fascists. Good chess players, to be fair. Better than me at least. Fuck it, suicide mission. Kamikaze time. Swap a rook for a bishop, the crowd are stunned. They stare open-mouthed, not sure if I’m an idiot savant or just plain idiot. Turns out the latter. Village idiot. City idiot. Continental idiot. Mip, mip, mip. Fall on my sword, hoist the flag. 0-1. Gykus10 leaves in search of more prey. I leave in search of more whisky. Fat chance, all gone. Rum next, mix and match. Drink, smoke, play, mip. Clock ticks on screen, clock ticks off screen. Game’s up on screen, game’s up off screen. I lose online, I lose offline. As long as you’ve got your knights though, right? Wrong. Knights disappear, night disappears, day starts, I stop. Raise glass, glass drops. Shatters. Cut my foot. Blood on the carpet, blood on my hand as I try to stem the flow. Sleep’s creeping up, sleep’s got a stick, sleep coshes me round the side of the head. Fall asleep on the floor. Wake up in the lounge. Can’t join the dots, won’t join the dots. Don’t know the time, don’t know the day. Don’t know why, don’t know who. Pretty fucking hungry, pretty fucking cold. Rum, rooks, rage, hate. Mip mip mip.

***

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. mijus – mijus won by resignation (-6).

mijus: gg

housndespli: mm

mijus: meaning

housndespli: mipmip

mijus: maening

housndespli: MIPMIP!!!

mijus: i don’t und.

housndespli: i don’t smo.

mijus: smo?

housndespli: ke da reefer

 

***

NEW GAMEhousndespli vs. 5corpio

5corpio: damn u lucky

5corpio: you lucky bastard

housndespli: mip!!!

housndespli: you mip?

housndespli: or mop?

5corpio: what the fck r u talking about?

housndespli: TELL ME NOW MIP/MOP

housndespli: LOVE/HATE SOUP/NOT SOUP NOW NOW NOW

5corpio: shut up jew jew jew

housndespli: HAHAHAHAHAHA I SMASH DA ANTI-SEMIP!!!

housndespli: hard to type laughing so much my soup is mipping

5corpio: no such word as mip

5corpio: dumb a s s

housndespli: SAY HI TO YOUR QUEEN FROM ME AND MIP

5corpio: no such word idiot

5corpio: learn english before talking

housndespli: learn chess before playing

5corpio: my score is higher than yours dumba s s

housndespli: YEAH BUT YOU ARE A BIGGER JOKE THAN BOBBY DA SOUP CLOWN!!!

housndespli: AND HIS WIFE BETTY LA MOPPA

5corpio: you make no sense, i dont watch clown shows you freak

5corpio: dirty jew shut your mouth, i am hitler hahaha

5corpio: HAIL HITLER

housndespli: HAIL OR HEIL?

housndespli: MIP OR MOP?

housndespli: SOUP OR NOT SOUP?

5corpio: jew or dirty jew?

housndespli: yok or super yok?

housndespli: YOU BOW DOWN AT MY FEET, HEATHEN, OR LEARN TO PLAY CHESS LIKE A MAN. THE CHOICE IS YOURS. THE CHOICE IS SOUP’S.

5corpio: shut up kike

housndespli: nice move. shame about the third reich

5corpio: shame u were born a jew

housndespli: yes, i curse my luck every day as i fly round in my apache helicopter

housndespli: the guns go akakakakakakakakakak as i go mipmipmipmipmipmip

5corpio: jews in israel dont have money only jews in america do

5corpio: No wonder god made u jews roam the desert for 40 years

housndespli: because we go akakakakakakakak?

5corpio: Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha-Olam

housndespli: or because we go mipmipmipmipmipmip?

GAME OVER – housndespli vs. 5corpio – housndespli won on time (+8).

housndespli: MIPPED TO DEATH!!!

housndespli: AM YISRAEL MIP!!!

 

***

GAME OVERhousndespli  vs. uncleronnie– Game drawn by stalemate (-2).

housndespli: mip?

uncleronnie: moving too fast

housndespli: i don’t think it right

housndespli: i’m not giving up da love tonight

***

NEW GAMEhousndespli vs. hamster_zero

housndespli: HELLO!!!

hamster_zero: hi

housndespli: hi friend how is da paraguay?

hamster_zero: its beautiful and quiet

hamster_zero: and in israel?

housndespli: THAT IS NICE!!! in israel it is shiny and fun today

housndespli: you like mip?

hamster_zero: what is mip?

housndespli: mip is a good time, a happy time, a pleasant time

hamster_zero: ah yes sounds good

housndespli: SO YOU LOVE DA MIP? I HAPPY TO HEAR

housndespli: what soup you like?

hamster_zero: heard a lot about isreal recent times – people seem to worry a lot

housndespli: israel is like a chicken with no wing, very sad

hamster_zero: i am hoping the political situation will calm down

housndespli: YES PLEASE!!! IT IS CRAZY WHEN DA BOMBS SHOOT AND DA SOUP SPILL ON FLOOR

hamster_zero: yes very sad – unfortunately there seem to be some zionistic leaders

housndespli: in paraguay they like to shoot/kill/mip? it is sad?

hamster_zero: here it is very quiet luckily right now – but even here they had some thuff times

housndespli: OK SORRY IF I OFFEND

hamster_zero: no dont worry

housndespli: I WORRY ALL DA DAY LONG, I SCARED FOR MY MIPPO

hamster_zero: I dont care about religion or politics – I believe everybody just wants to live quietly

housndespli: YOU ARE GOOD MIP, I BLESS YOU FROM HEAVEN

hamster_zero: thanks

hamster_zero: what do you think will happen in the next month? war or still negotiations?

housndespli: i believe tony mccoy will save da day in da end. there will be no blood, not if tony is strong

hamster_zero: who is tony mccoy?

housndespli: he champion jockey, very strong on flat, quite good on da hurdles

housndespli: WHAT SOUP YOU LIKE?

hamster_zero: we dont eat soup here in paraguay – just meat, chicken and salad

housndespli: I EAT CHICKEN!!! I SMASH CHICKEN FOR MY JOB!!!

hamster_zero: cool

housndespli: YOU WANT ME SMASH YOU A CHICKEN FOR YOUR SOUP?

hamster_zero: no thanks-:)

housndespli: sorry, sorry if i make you hurt and afraid of da soup

housndespli: WHAT YOU LIKE MORE FOOTBALL OR DEATH-SMASH-HAMMER-FUN?

hamster_zero: football

housndespli: ME TOO!!!

housndespli: which team you like to love?

hamster_zero: borussia dortmund

hamster_zero: yours?

housndespli: booo – i like da hapoel tel aviv they have mighty mip in goal

housndespli: we have song for team it is “WHEN YOU ARE MIP, I AM MOP, WHEN YOU START, I WILL STOP, WHEN YOU FLIP, I WILL FLOP, WHEN YOU GO, MY HEART DOES DROP”

housndespli: you like da song?

hamster_zero: yes

housndespli: thank you miprovich!!!

housndespli: you ever see chicken run away from da knife attack???

housndespli: what is your favourite chicken? harry da hen or colin da cockerel?

housndespli: WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE – I SPARE YOUR FAVOURITE KILL OTHER

housndespli: YOU SAY NOTHING I KILL BOTH!!! WITH ELECTRIC!!!

hamster_zero: leave them alone

housndespli: NO!!! THEY MUST GO TO HEAVEN DE LA CHICKERI !!!

housndespli: you ever meet a nice south african?

hamster_zero: no

housndespli: HOORAY HIPPO!!!

housndespli: MAYBE YOU CAN SEND ME PARAGUAY SHOES I SEND YOU ISRAEL SOUP?

housndespli: :m

housndespli: :i

housndespli: :p

DRAW OFFER: hamster_zero has offered a drawaccept | decline

housndespli: COLIN DEAD!!! HARRY ALMOST DIE TOO!!! RUNNING LIKE CRAZY BEAR!!!

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. hamster_zero – Game drawn by agreement.

***

NEW GAMEhousndespli  vs. guerrilla_tactics

 

guerrilla_tactics: you play like a computer

 

housndespli: you mip like a mop!!!

 

housndespli: sorry not nice because not know if man before came like da place was in two mind or up from three

 

housndespli: I SAY SORRY BECAUSE HE WANT

 

housndespli: NOT BECAUSE I FREE FROM SIN CASTING STONE OFF ROOF

 

housndespli: OK/NOT OK? MIP/MOP?

 

guerrilla_tactics: I have no Fing clue what you are saying

 

housndespli: behave like canary do not just sing like one – thank

 

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. guerrilla_tactics – housndespli won by resignation (+8).

 

housndespli: thank thank

 

housndespli: mm

 

guerrilla_tactics: F off

 

***

NEW GAMEhousndespli  vs. Kevin1332

Kevin1332: bite me

 

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. Kevin1332 – housndespli won by resignation (+7)

 

housndespli: bite mip

 

***

NEW GAME (140743560)housndespli  vs. blobby12

housndespli: hello!

housndespli: how areye?

blobby12: hi

blobby12: shalom

housndespli: HI!

housndespli: SHALOM!!! HAHAHA!

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: you hate da people from da ENEMEY?

housndespli: PLESAE?

blobby12: why wouold i like enemy

housndespli: i sorry if offend ye…

housndespli: 🙁

housndespli: not want ye hate me

housndespli: sorryi

blobby12: I don’t

blobby12: I know what you’re sayin

housndespli: you mean we can be da FRIEND?

housndespli: PLESAE?

housndespli: do you like da CHESS?

housndespli: ???

blobby12: yes

housndespli: YES CHESS OR YES FRIEND?

housndespli: NOT UNDERSTAND SORRYI

housndespli: you have joke you can tell to me plesae? i like da joke from da eng-land

blobby12: U.S.A

housndespli: there is more to da joke? not understand

blobby12: I don

blobby12: I don’t know the joke

housndespli: you have da joke for me plesae? funny joke?

blobby12: I don’t know a funny joke

housndespli: :I

housndespli: you want ME to tell da joke to YE?

blobby12: sure

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: is mouse climb on da wall of house

housndespli: other mouse run past, run faster than sun, more fast than da superjet!

housndespli: mouse say hey mouse, why you run like da SCORCHA?

housndespli: MOUSE SAY I NOT SCORCHA, I FROM MOROCCO!!!!

housndespli: HAHAHAHA!!!

housndespli: YE LIKE?

blobby12: It’s funnier when you hear it

housndespli: sorry

blobby12: no apology neccesary

housndespli: not want ye hate pon me and pon da israelist

blobby12: I’m not mad

housndespli: thank but not believe ye

housndespli: i want apologi for da behav

housndespli: sorr

housndespli: (why ye call da blobba?)

housndespli: (plesae?)

blobby12: easy name to remember

housndespli: what mean blobba plesae?

housndespli: it name of death/fun/mip?

blobby12: blobby is funny name

housndespli: not death name?

housndespli: i know death man blobbo

housndespli: BIG FUN SHOW IN MY COUNTROS

blobby12: oh

housndespli: you like da show d-m-blobbo?

housndespli: you want ME SEND TO YE CLIP?

blobby12: never seen it

blobby12: no

blobby12: thank you

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: i send to chess.como and ask to send to YE!

housndespli: FUNNY!

blobby12: no thanks

housndespli: YES PLESAE!

blobby12: I am fine

housndespli: it NO problema – i want ye FUN HAVE!!!

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: I SEND TOMORRORO

blobby12: no

housndespli: how much chess ye have plesae?

blobby12: bhuh

blobby12: huh

housndespli: what mean bhuh huh

housndespli: it more from ten? twenti?

blobby12: how long have I played chess? Are you asking that?

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: nice!!!

blobby12: Almost 2 years

housndespli: thank!

blobby12: NOt 2 years yet

housndespli: nice!!!

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: wery NICE!

blobby12: no problem

blobby12: thank you

housndespli: thank ye!

blobby12: I play in real tournaments

housndespli: WITH REAL GUN?

housndespli: WHY GUN?

housndespli: NOT NICE TO GUN DA FRIEND

blobby12: Chess tournaments

housndespli: CHESS SHOOT TOURNA?

blobby12: NO

housndespli: NICE!

blobby12: chess playing tournaments

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: I NOT ALLOW SHOOT BECAUSE KICK FROM ARMY AFTER SHOOT DUCK AND OTHER ANIMOS

blobby12: I don’t SHOOT

housndespli: why ye shoot not nice – more nice to play friend game

housndespli: i sorry for ye if love to shoot duck

blobby12: I Do Not Shoot!!!

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: ye say sorry to da people ye shoot?

housndespli: it not nice FRIEND

housndespli: ‘FRIEND’

blobby12: I never shoot people

housndespli: WHAT YE SHOOT IF NOT DA PEOPO

blobby12: I play!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

housndespli: NOT UNDERSTANDOS

blobby12: I do NOT Shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

housndespli: SORRY DA ENGLISH OF YE NOT GOOD

housndespli: maybe YE need more time learn da engli less time shoot

blobby12: I shoot none

housndespli: what is ‘none’ – type of da duck or peopo?

blobby12: no shooting for me

housndespli: i not believe ye because i know da death blobbo shoot in da FILM

blobby12: I am not Blobbo

housndespli: WHY YE ANGER YE SAY DA NAME BLOBBO AND YE LIKE TO SHOOT NUN

blobby12: I am blobby like bobby

blobby12: Like bobby fischer

blobby12: I like chess

housndespli: i scared of ye not know ye like da chess

housndespli: sorry

housndespli: not shoot da me PLESAE blobbo

blobby12: I do not shooot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

housndespli: thank!

blobby12: I have never used a gun!!!!!

blobby12: I just like to play chess

housndespli: why you say before da blobbo death not want da FISCHER from da house/mouse?

blobby12: ok!!

housndespli: not udnderstrand ye

blobby12: blobbo might be death but blobby is happy I said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. blobby12 – blobby12 won by resignation (-8).

housndespli: NO MORE GUN!

housndespli: PEACE TO DA BLOB

blobby12: why you being mean to me

housndespli: I LIKE YE!

blobby12: peace

housndespli: NOT WANT YE SHOOT DA ME!

blobby12: I mean no harm

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: 🙂

blobby12: I am nice

housndespli: HAPPY!

blobby12: why are you accusing me of things

housndespli: I PRAISE YE FROM DA HILL!

blobby12: that I don

housndespli: NOT WANT ENENEMNEMY

blobby12: yes

housndespli: I BELIEVED TO YE BE DA BLOBBO BUT NOT BLOBBO I SORRO

blobby12: I think you should work on your english so that you can understand me

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: THANK MANY YE!

blobby12: Don;t say things that you don’t know what you’re saying

blobby12: don’t

housndespli: SORRO 🙁

blobby12: sorry I am typing fast

housndespli: SORRO I SAY SORRO WHAT MORE YE WANT?

housndespli: TO SHOOT DA ME?

housndespli: NO

housndespli: NO GUN

blobby12: no

blobby12: what ever you just offended me

housndespli: THANK! SORRO! PEACE! BLOBBO

blobby12: I did nothing and you start saying I shoot ,which I don’t do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

blobby12: do not

housndespli: I SORRO, WERY SORRO

blobby12: donot

blobby12: I accept your apology

housndespli: I ACCEPT YOUR MIP

blobby12: I like isreal okay

housndespli: I ACCEPT DA LIMITATIO OF DA ENGLAND

housndespli: THANK

blobby12: not england

blobby12: just so you know

housndespli: I ALSO NOT LIKE ENGLAND

housndespli: I LIKE YE

blobby12: kind of funny

blobby12: thanks

housndespli: WHAT KIND OF FUNNY?

blobby12: you say I’m from england

housndespli: WHERE YOU FROM BLOBO?

blobby12: United states of america

housndespli: WOW! WHY YE HAVE DA ENGLI FLAG BLOBBA?

blobby12: put your mouse next to my flag

housndespli: NO THANK I MARRIED

housndespli has disabled chat

***

 

***

NEW GAMEjoyntjezebel vs. housndespli

joyntjezebel: hello

housndespli: hello mip!

housndespli: HELLO!!!

joyntjezebel: mip?

housndespli: what is mip?

joyntjezebel: that is what i want to know

housndespli: someone said mip before i thought it nice thing to say

joyntjezebel: fair enough

housndespli: MIPMIP!

housndespli: you like soup?

housndespli: S O U P?

joyntjezebel: depends on the soup

housndespli: ok

housndespli: thank you

housndespli: i sell soup in my work

housndespli: what do you sell?

housndespli: in your work?

joyntjezebel: i am a student

housndespli: of soup?

joyntjezebel: lol

housndespli: what is lol?

housndespli: WHAT IS LOL?

joyntjezebel: laughing out loud

housndespli: how rude

joyntjezebel: its not an insult, it indicates amusement at a joke

housndespli: ok

housndespli: thank you

housndespli: i like to joke and play and laugh and sing

housndespli: and mip

housndespli: and mop

housndespli: PLEASE HELP ME

housndespli: who do you know?

joyntjezebel: where are you in israel

joyntjezebel: i visited there many years ago

housndespli: it is very different now. there is much more soup than before

housndespli: many many soup shops, many many happy people

housndespli: i am in nazareth

joyntjezebel: oh cool

housndespli: i am in jerusalem now

housndespli: but tomorrow nazareth

joyntjezebel: didn’t someone important come from there

housndespli: yes, bertie indigo is from here

housndespli: you know bertie?

joyntjezebel: no

housndespli: i will tell him to contact you

joyntjezebel: i had in mind, some carpenter’s son or something

housndespli: i do not know what is carpenter

housndespli: you have kitty?

joyntjezebel: no cat, no

joyntjezebel: carpenter makes things from wood, i mean’t jesus

housndespli: i heart jesus

housndespli: you heart jesus?

joyntjezebel: i don’t think so

housndespli: ok

housndespli: thank you

housndespli: smash

housndespli: YOU SMASH?

joyntjezebel: maybe

joyntjezebel: i am the one with the 2 pawn advantage

housndespli: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I SMASH IN ISRAEL, YOU SMASH IN FRANCE?

joyntjezebel: i am in australai

housndespli: i am sorry

housndespli: I AM SORRY

joyntjezebel: it is quite ok

housndespli: you smash kitty?

joyntjezebel: why would i want to hurt a cat?

housndespli: what is ‘a cat’ please?

housndespli: WHAT IS ‘A CAT’?

joyntjezebel: cat is a kitty

joyntjezebel: furry pet

housndespli: FRENCH PEOPLE ARE FUNNY!!!

***

NEW GAME (74525981)housndespli  vs. ardian_nugroho (15 0 rated)

 

ardian_nugroho: good luck….

 

housndespli: you too pippo!

 

ardian_nugroho: hai….where are u from??

 

ardian_nugroho: israel, isn’t it???

 

housndespli: i from da ISRAEL yes!!!

 

housndespli: we like da mip, you like/hate/love???

 

housndespli: YOU LIKE-HATE-MIP MAYBE? MAYBE BABY?

 

ardian_nugroho: what is mip???

 

housndespli: hahahaha you funny man like coco da colombo!

 

ardian_nugroho: no…i like israel

 

ardian_nugroho: it’s the land of GOD

 

housndespli: you know MIP – MIP is your FRIEND!

 

housndespli: you know joke for me please? joke about happy BELIEFS and/or BUSINESS ETHIC?

 

ardian_nugroho: i don’t know MIP….

 

housndespli: you know SOUP?

 

housndespli: you like SOUP?

 

housndespli: (please)

 

ardian_nugroho: yes…i like SOUP

 

housndespli: YESSS! I PUNCH DA AIR LIKE DA GOALSCORE!

 

housndespli: i MAKE soup for my WORK!!!

 

ardian_nugroho: i see….

 

housndespli: you want ask me QUESTION about da SOUP? i know ALL da ANSWER!!!

 

 

housndespli: or you not READY to RUMMMMMMMMBLE???!!!??

 

ardian_nugroho: next time MAYBE

 

housndespli: 🙁

 

housndespli: I ANGER LIKE DA GRAND WIZARD OF WARWICK

 

 

ardian_nugroho: now…we concentrate on this macth

 

housndespli: ok PIPPO!!!

 

 

housndespli: (pippo it a JOKE – to do with da SOUP!!! but other thing too!!!)

 

housndespli: (actually other thing TOO!!! :p)

 

housndespli: @

 

ardian_nugroho: what is that??

 

housndespli: that is a SNAIL!!!

 

ardian_nugroho: for me…SNAIL is disquisting animal!!

 

housndespli: for me TOO!!! I SMASH DA SNAIL WITH EVERY TIME DA I SEE DA SNAIL ON DA ROAD OR IN DA BUSH OR CLIMB DA HOUSE OR RUN DA RAIL!!!

 

housndespli: you SMASH da SNAIL mippa?

 

ardian_nugroho: what a pity the SNAIL

 

ardian_nugroho: off course not

 

housndespli: YOU MUST OR DA SNAIL SMASH YOU! IT DA ZERO SUM WAR PIPPO!

 

ardian_nugroho: SNAIL is also GOD’s creation

 

housndespli: maybe you LOVE da snail – maybe you should MARRY da snail

 

ardian_nugroho: hua..ha..ha

 

housndespli: maybe you and SNAIL could be sitting in da TREE

 

housndespli: k

 

housndespli: i

 

housndespli: s

 

housndespli: s

 

housndespli: i

 

housndespli: n

 

housndespli: g

 

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED BY A MODERATOR – BE CAREFUL OR YOU MAY BE KICKED OUT OR BANNED

 

ardian_nugroho: i’d rather marry charming woman

 

housndespli: (sorry pippo i cannot da speak da now da man say will da kick me)

 

housndespli: (good luck with da marry)

***

NEW GAMEchris121144 vs. housndespli

 

housndespli: HELLO BIFFO!

 

chris121144: Hello

 

housndespli: HELLO HOW IS DA GREECE???

 

chris121144: Biffo?

 

chris121144: hello?

 

housndespli: biffo word in da greece i believe?

 

housndespli: you like live in da cyprus?

 

housndespli: hello pippy!

 

chris121144: I dont know biffo or pippy to be greek words

 

chris121144: I am not from cyprus

 

housndespli: I VERY SORRY IF I WRONG AND OFFEND AND MAKE YOU HATE ME. SORRY.

 

chris121144: why is it a bad word?

 

housndespli: NO I BELIEVE NOT TO BE BAD WORD BUT I DO NOT LIKE TO MAKE ENEMY FROM YOU OR DA EUROPEANS

 

housndespli: i want to be at peace with all. mip be upon you, from heaven

 

chris121144: Yes i also want peace

 

housndespli: thank, thank, to you

 

housndespli: what work you do in da greece?

 

chris121144: I m afraid that war occur without what people want

 

chris121144: I dont work

 

housndespli: what you do if not work?

 

chris121144: go to university

 

housndespli: ok – i want university also but family make me work with petroleum

 

housndespli: I HATE DA PETROLEUM, I HATE DA WHOLE SYSTEM

 

chris121144: how old are you?

 

housndespli: what is ‘how old’ meaning?

 

chris121144: I would like to talk to you after the game is finished

 

housndespli: ok i happy to talk, but i am being watched

 

housndespli: you speak da uvaguv?

 

chris121144: No

 

housndespli: ovago kavagay (dat means da ok)

 

housndespli: but we can speak in da English

 

chris121144: you play chess nice

 

housndespli: thank you i learn from old man in shoe near my house

 

chris121144: nice draw

 

housndespli: nice draw to you

 

DRAW OFFER: housndespli has offered a draw

 

DRAW DECLINED: chris121144 has declined a draw

 

DRAW OFFER: chris121144 has offered a drawaccept | decline

 

chris121144: is there a way to win

 

chris121144: ?

 

housndespli: no my friend, the mip says da draw

 

chris121144: the mip?

 

chris121144: what is a mip

 

housndespli: the mip within our spirit and soul

 

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. chris121144 – Game drawn by agreement (+2).

 

housndespli: what you wanted to speak of?

 

chris121144: Old is how many years you have lived since you were born

 

housndespli: ok, thank to you, i not know this

 

chris121144: Who is watching you?

 

housndespli: people connected to da army, to da petroleum gang- it is more serious than before six months

 

housndespli: here there is no place to hide because always there is trouble with mip/mop

 

chris121144: I think Israel is constantly in combat is that true?

 

housndespli: yes, many war

 

chris121144: Mip mop could you explain?

 

housndespli: i cannot speak of this over da internet, it is too danger

 

chris121144: I think somebody should stop this situation in israel

 

chris121144: being in war is not nice

 

housndespli: i agree, but who/how/when/where/soup/not soup?

 

housndespli: you shoot gun?

 

chris121144: no I dont shoot gun

 

housndespli: I SHOOT GUN AT CAT/CHICKEN/OTHER SMALL DEATH ANIMAL

 

housndespli: IT IS FUN!!!

 

housndespli: ONE DAY I WILL BE SUPER MIP!!!

 

chris121144: well it is very bad thing to kill people.

 

chris121144: Dont you agree?

 

housndespli: yes, but not chicken, chicken enemy of my garden

 

housndespli: to kill a chickenbird is great honour to da mip

 

chris121144: ONE DAY I WILL BE SUPER MIP!!! What do you mean?

 

housndespli: dat is not exactly what i say, you must be careful with words

 

chris121144: I just pasted it

 

housndespli: words kill like f16 stealth bomber

 

chris121144: sorry I didnt mean to change anything

 

housndespli: what is ‘pasted’ – it is new to me, new to da mipperi

 

housndespli: new to da mip, new to da mop, new to da chip, new to da chop

 

chris121144: Select a word from the ones written in our conversation

 

housndespli: ‘treehouse’

 

housndespli: it is ok for you i choose treehouse?

 

chris121144: then after doubleclicking it right click it

 

chris121144: What is treehouse?

 

housndespli: you speak crazy like soupkitchenman!!!

 

housndespli: crazy talk from da greece!!!

 

chris121144: Did I insulted you in any way?

 

housndespli: YES!!! NO!!! MIP!!! MOP!!!

 

housndespli: PLEASE I MUST GO THERE IS NEW PETROLEUM TANKER DRIVING FAST TO MY CITY, I MUST DEFEND THE PEOPLE

 

chris121144: Okay bye. I wish one day we wil talk again

 

housndespli: I WISH TOO, I WISH UPON A MIP, GOOD TO YOU, GOOD TO CYPRUS

 

chris121144: Stop saying mip unless you want to explain it to me

 

chris121144: I want to understand what you are talking about

 

chris121144: I wish you peace

 

housndespli: I WISH YOU MIP

 

***

 

NEW GAMEhousndespli  vs. ColinHB (15 0 rated)

housndespli: hello gg mm

housndespli: HELLO PIPPO GG

ColinHB: Hello

ColinHB: Thanks for the game

housndespli: hello how is da utd kingdom da friend?

ColinHB: Its OK I suppose, raining.

housndespli: NOTHING COMPARES 2 ROOK

housndespli: what means ‘ipadipadation my operation how many mippos in da station’?

housndespli: friend from da engaland told me song – it funny or sad???

ColinHB: How is Israel ?

housndespli: israel is hot like da hell!

housndespli: make me want da pheas to come back!!! only kidaling!!!

ColinHB: You finsihed building that wall yet ?

housndespli: yes!!!

housndespli: we love da wall

housndespli: it never fall

housndespli: it very tall

housndespli: it name is paul

ColinHB: That’s what they said in Berlin

housndespli: thank!!!

housndespli: i grateful you are happy for da paul wall!!!

housndespli: how is da occupation da iraq da fun? or not da fun? your tax go to da iraq or  afghananastation?

ColinHB: We love war in England – still think we have an Empire

housndespli: hahahaha!! but you have no empire you have a MIPpire!!!

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: YOU KNOW DA SONG ‘PUT DA PIGGY IN DA MIDDLE WATCH IT RUN RUN RUN, WATCH DA MIPPO AND DA HIPPO SHOOT DA GUN GUN GUN’?

ColinHB: True, but if it was not for America Israel would not exist – also keep your eyes open for that Iranian missile – it is on it’s way.

housndespli: thank!!

housndespli: i love da MIPpire!!! 🙂

ColinHB: Don’t worry Japanese said they only saw a flash

housndespli: YOU WANT HEAR JOKE ABOUT DA JAPAN???!!!

ColinHB: I want to say no but cannot so go on then

housndespli: ok is man from japan walking near garden

housndespli: he see snail, say ‘hello snail, you like da sushi?’

housndespli: snail say ‘no’

housndespli: man say ‘why ya little snail, i smash ya head’

housndespli: snail say ‘can’t smash my head – i never got da hold of da money, moppo!!!!’

housndespli: hehehehehe

housndespli: u like?

ColinHB: Don’t understand

housndespli: ‘i never got da HOLD of da money’ – u see now???

housndespli: hehehehe

housndespli: mipmipmip

ColinHB: Woman goes on a bus – driver tells her her baby is ugly – she goes to the back and says to a guy – the bus driver just insulted me.

housndespli: hahahaha

housndespli: hehehehehe!!!

housndespli: u FUNNY FUN MAN!!!

ColinHB: Guy says – pass me your monkey and go and tell him off

housndespli: OK, BUT DA FIRST JOKE WAS DA BETTER!!!

ColinHB: It’s the end of the joke

housndespli: mip?

housndespli: YOU INSULT ME OR MIP? WHY? FRIEND?

ColinHB: mip – what does that mean ?

housndespli: you said first ‘hello mip’ yes?

housndespli: i not know friend

housndespli: i not da magic moppo!!!

housndespli: (i am da magic moppo!!! trick’n’treat’n’mip!!!)

ColinHB: No I don’t think so – respect everyone – that’s me

housndespli: WHAT MEANS ‘IT WACADAY NO SCHOOL TODAY’?

housndespli: PLEASE???

ColinHB: I am too old for that

housndespli: u not respect da wacaday, i not respect da u. sorry. mop.

housndespli has disabled chat

***

 

NEW GAMEhousndespli vs. HarrisonStith

housndespli: hello!

HarrisonStith: hey there!

housndespli: how is da utd states?

HarrisonStith: pretty good, spring got here. how’s israel?

housndespli: ISRAEL MIPTASTIC!!! WE HAVE MANY PEOPLE HAPPY TODAY!

HarrisonStith: why today?

housndespli: TODAY DA WEEKEND, MIPPO!

housndespli: we rise/shine/give god his glory glory

housndespli: we going to build an arky arky

HarrisonStith: true, God gets His glory always

housndespli: THERE’S GOING TO BE DA FLOODY FLOODY

HarrisonStith: like in Genesis?>

housndespli: what is genesis please da mip?

HarrisonStith: in the pentatuch

housndespli: HAHAHAHAHA I GET YOU DA MIP!!!!

HarrisonStith: what is da mip?

housndespli: it is greeting in da utd states i believe???

HarrisonStith: it is new to me, i think

housndespli: OK SORRY TO BE RUDE

HarrisonStith: not at all.

housndespli: NOT AT ALL WHAT DA MIP?

HarrisonStith: you don’t have to be sorry at all

housndespli: THANK YOU MIPPERI!!!

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: YOU CAN GET ME A SILVER TRUMPET, GABRIEL?

HarrisonStith: what’

HarrisonStith: what’s a good greeting in Israel?

housndespli: SHALOM MOOP

housndespli: OR FOR DA GIRL IT IS SHALOM MEEP

HarrisonStith: Peace! Moop

housndespli: peace to you too gabriel

HarrisonStith: God’s Angel

housndespli: hahahaha!!! like da karadzic!!!

housndespli: YOU LIKE DA KARADZIC?

HarrisonStith: who is he?

housndespli: RADOVAN KARADZIC KING OF DA SERBS DA HERO

housndespli: he build da arky arky, build it out of gopher barky barky

HarrisonStith: We spell it Karatich or something like that

housndespli: HOW RUDE

housndespli: YOU LIKE DA FILM DA JESUS SOUP?

HarrisonStith: haven’t seen it. Have you seen Arranged?

housndespli: I NO SEE DA FILMS I TOO BUSY IN DA ARMY

HarrisonStith: What’s Jesus Soup about?

housndespli: ABOUT DA JESUS WHEN HE TURN DA SOUP INTO MIP

HarrisonStith: Mip?

HarrisonStith: You like Bebe?

housndespli: what is da bebe?

HarrisonStith: netanyahu

housndespli: DA BIBI? HE LIKE A NEPHEW TO ME

housndespli: you like da i d f?

housndespli: I SAID YOU LIKE DA I D F?

HarrisonStith: respect it very much

housndespli: i will tell them they will be happy/courageous/proud/aromatic

HarrisonStith: everyone will be aromatic if they don’t shower

housndespli: WHAT? DON’T UNDERSTAND??? 🙁

HarrisonStith: its a joke, aromatic means strong smelling

housndespli: SORRY I DO NOT KNOW

housndespli: PLEASE FORGIVE

HarrisonStith: did you mean romantic?

housndespli: yes. YES. YES!!! I BELIEVE DA WORD IS TRUE. THIS TRAIN IS BOUND FOR DA GLORY THIS TRAIN

HarrisonStith: you like american music?

housndespli: YOU/ME LIKE/LOVE MIP/MOP NEAR/FAR?

housndespli: GET YOUR MIPS OUT FOR DA LAD

HarrisonStith: you teach me new words man

housndespli: thank you i feel good like da kangaroo

housndespli: YOU LIKE DA CASH MONEY?

housndespli: :-m

housndespli: :-i

housndespli: :-p

housndespli: YOU GIVE ME DA HAMBURGER I GLADLY PAY YOU TUESDAY

housndespli: WHY YOU QUIET NOW LIKE LAST BREEZE OF DA SUMMER?

housndespli: we no friends???

HarrisonStith: you are killilng me now

housndespli: I NO WANT KILL I HATE DA KILL SORRY

HarrisonStith: i have to think more, type less

housndespli: LIKE DA LETHAL BIZZLE!!!

HarrisonStith: yes like lethal bizzle

housndespli: you know lethal b?

housndespli: YOU DO NOT!!??

HarrisonStith: no what is it?>?

housndespli: HE MY HERO

housndespli: HE GIVE ME DA HOPE JOANNA

HarrisonStith: how did i let this game get so bad for me?

housndespli: IT IS DA WILL OF DA LORD

HarrisonStith: i hope not

housndespli: HE STRIKE DOWN UPON DA SIN

HarrisonStith: and bad play

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. HarrisonStith – housndespli won on time (+8)

housndespli: i got ninety nine problem but da mip ain’t one

***

***

NEW GAMEmijus vs. housndespli

housndespli: hi!!

mijus: hi

housndespli: gg

mijus: gg

housndespli: mm

GAME OVERmijus vs. housndespli – housndespli won by checkmate (+10).

housndespli: mm

housndespli: MM

mijus: gg

housndespli: mm

housndespli: gg/mm

housndespli: gg!!!

mijus: mm?

housndespli: mipmip

housndespli: MIPMIP!!

mijus: mip?

housndespli: MIP!!

mijus: explain

housndespli: mip is a fleeting hint of jasmine, mip is a fresh summer breeze

housndespli: got mip?

mijus: no

housndespli: got mop?

mijus: it is fine

housndespli: it is not fine. i have no soup

housndespli: got soup?

mijus: no

mijus: what is

mijus: your

mijus: ocupation

housndespli: i am a soldier

housndespli: what is

housndespli: your

housndespli: occupation?

mijus: electrical

mijus: eng

housndespli: i love electricity

housndespli: do you love war?

mijus: fine

mijus: what is your rang

housndespli: my rang?

mijus: levewl in the army

housndespli: i am a miptenant

mijus: tenant

mijus: very good

housndespli: what is your rang?

mijus: dr. of sci

housndespli: maybe one day we will meet on the battlefield. or at an electricity festival

mijus: no on battle field

mijus: i am too old

housndespli: how old are you?

mijus: 63

housndespli: got soup?

mijus: i dont understand

housndespli: i must go, someone is shooting rpgs. it might be a mipbush

mijus: ok

mijus: thx

housndespli: bye

housndespli: mm

mijus: bye

***

NEW GAMEhousndespli  vs. 4corpio

 

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. 4corpio – Game drawn by stalemate.

 

NEW GAME4corpio vs. housndespli

 

4corpio: u suckkk

housndespli: u mippp

4corpio: you LUCKY sh it

GAME OVER4corpio vs. housndespli – housndespli won by resignation (+8).

4corpio has offered you a rematch – accept | decline

housndespli: u been mip?

housndespli: or like da mop rematch moop?

4corpio: shut up you dumb jew

housndespli: thank!!!

4corpio: rematch u coward

housndespli: we smash da mip all again like da mip

housndespli: what mean coward like da chosen legend?

4corpio: REMATCH

housndespli: REMIP

4corpio: no wonder so many of u were killed by hitler

4corpio: ur idiots

housndespli: NO WONDER SO MANY OF YOU WERE MIPPED BY MOPLI PANUCHE

housndespli: YOU PLAY CHESS LIKE MY DUCK PLAY CRICKET

4corpio: u scared?

housndespli: SCARED OF BOREDOM FROM ALL DA MIPPING!!!

4corpio: ur an idiot

4corpio: no such thing

4corpio: as a mip

housndespli: i am mip

housndespli: you are a leetle mop

4corpio: youre a dip ssh it

4corpio: stupid kyke

housndespli: da first rule of mip club, don’t talk about mip club

housndespli: da second rule of mip club, smash all da mops you find till da blood flow in da street and da pheas can turn da jacuzzi red

housndespli: where is da mop? behind every tree, under every stone

4corpio: u scared to play?

4corpio: afraid u might lose?

4corpio: ur too chicken

housndespli: i too busy laughing at how you play da last game!!! you play like a stick of celery play da hungry hungry hippo!

4corpio: behind every tree is a dirty jew

4corpio: kill the jew

housndespli: you welcome to try!!!

housndespli: come to israel – turn left at lebanon and come through da gate

housndespli: we eat you for aruchat boker mip!

4corpio: ur country is a waste of land

4corpio: poor

4corpio: stupid

housndespli: with zatar and a leetle salt

housndespli: MORE ZATAR, ACTUALLY EVEN MORE ZATAR PLEASE WAITER

4corpio: moron

housndespli: SO MUCH ZATAR IT CALLED A ZATAR EXPLOSION OF SPICE AND HAMMER BLOW!

housndespli: GOOD LUCK WITH DA CHESSERATION – I PLAY YOU AGAIN WHEN YOUR MOP BECOME MIP

4corpio: IDIOT JEWWWW

housndespli: I NOT HOLD DA BREATH OR HOLD DA HOPE FOR SUSANNAH TILL DA MORNING COME

4corpio: U TALK BUT CANT PLAY

housndespli: I BEATED YOU LIKE A SHEEP

housndespli: BAA BAA MIP MEEP

***

 

NEW GAMELoveBuzzDuo vs. housndespli

housndespli: hi!!!

housndespli: HI!!!

LoveBuzzDuo: gl

housndespli: MM

housndespli: how is to be usa?

LoveBuzzDuo: good

housndespli: yeah!!!

housndespli: i love smash da cuba

housndespli: SMASH DA CUBA!!!

LoveBuzzDuo: ok

housndespli: mip!!!

housndespli: MIP MIP!

housndespli: what do you work?

LoveBuzzDuo: army

LoveBuzzDuo: u

housndespli: army too!!! I D F

housndespli: YOU LIKE I D F ?

LoveBuzzDuo: very good

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: WE SMASH DA CUBAAAA

LoveBuzzDuo: in what sport

housndespli: in da face

LoveBuzzDuo: lol

housndespli: what is the lol?

LoveBuzzDuo: sorry

housndespli: WHAT IS THE LOL???

LoveBuzzDuo: laughing out loud

housndespli: thank you – what you laugh to?

LoveBuzzDuo: cuba face

housndespli: WHY YOU LAUGH ON I D F?

LoveBuzzDuo: i didnt

housndespli: OK THANK YOU MIP. THANK YOU

housndespli: we will meet one day on field of battle?

LoveBuzzDuo: u better hope not war sucks

housndespli: war is mip

LoveBuzzDuo: what is mip?

housndespli: I ASK YOU PLEASE WHAT IS DA MIP?

housndespli: a man from state of america told me mip, told me da mip breathes fire like dragon

LoveBuzzDuo: huh?

LoveBuzzDuo: ok

LoveBuzzDuo: how old are you?

housndespli: 62

housndespli: how age you?

housndespli: HOW AGE YOU MIPLI?

LoveBuzzDuo: 36

housndespli: thank you da mipperi

***

NEW GAME (83104364)housndespli  vs. FitheachSidhe (15 0 rated)

FitheachSidhe: m or f?

housndespli: mip – and ye?

FitheachSidhe: whats ip ?

FitheachSidhe: m

housndespli: MIP like da friend with da arm? you hate ME because WHY?

FitheachSidhe: have no idea what yur talking about. asking male or female.

FitheachSidhe: you said m I assumed was male

FitheachSidhe: then ip

FitheachSidhe: which i do not know

housndespli: SORRY please not hate me i not want to BE da HATE person

housndespli: you like da CHESS friend?

FitheachSidhe: ok no english, sorry

FitheachSidhe: shalome

FitheachSidhe: lol

housndespli: THANK!!! you like da SNAIL or HATE DA SNAIL?

FitheachSidhe: snail?

housndespli: SNAIL little creature from da place near HOUSE

FitheachSidhe: r u a computer?

housndespli: WHAT MEAN i not hate YE

FitheachSidhe: ok, yur either a cpu or your fing crazy

housndespli: THANK!!! how r u in q8?

FitheachSidhe: yur a cpu

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. FitheachSidhe – housndespli won by resignation (+7).

housndespli: THANK!!! how r u in q9?

***

NEW GAMEkembro13 vs. housndespli

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: 😐

kembro13: 🙂

housndespli: mip!

kembro13: mip?

housndespli: what is mip?

housndespli: please?

kembro13: no idea what mip is.

housndespli: thank you!

housndespli: 🙂

kembro13: i have no idea whats going on right now

housndespli: mip?

housndespli: 😉

housndespli: ATTACK THE DANCEFLOOR LIKE A BULLDOZER!!!

housndespli: mip

housndespli: 🙁

housndespli: hello kitty!

housndespli: HELLO KITTY!!!

kembro13: is that some israeli terrorist chant?

housndespli: HAHAHAHA TERRORIST KITTY!!! 🙂

housndespli: 😉

housndespli: supermip?

housndespli: 😛

GAME OVERkembro13 vs. housndespli – housndespli won on time (+9).

housndespli: hello!

housndespli: kitty!

***

NEW GAME (80814907)Adolef vs. housndespli  (15 0 rated)

Adolef: hi

housndespli: hello

housndespli: hello!!

housndespli: how are ye?

Adolef: I’m fine, thanks

Adolef: Hwo about you?

housndespli: thank!!!

housndespli: i am fine like bee!

housndespli: you like da CHESS?

Adolef: that’s a rather stupid question

housndespli: thank!!!

housndespli: sorry if OFFEND ye!!!

housndespli: SORRY FRIEND PLEASE NOT HATE ME FOR DA LIFE

Adolef: What happened to you that you’re in such a good mood?

housndespli: i found my PHEAS!! was running through road escape from da GARDEN but I FIND PHEAS now can EAT/DRINK/MERRY!

housndespli: you like da PHEAS?

Adolef: What’s pheas?

housndespli: you not know da PHEAS? it bird with ANGRY eye and FULL of COURAGE but WEAK like TINY LOCUST

Adolef: No I do not know it.. Does it have something to do with religion?

housndespli: you love/not love/hate/UNCONCERNED about da pheas? please?

housndespli: you have da RELIGION?

housndespli: friend why you go SILENCE like da LAMB?

Adolef: Sorry, I’m trying to concentrate on chess..

housndespli: thank!!! do you love da CHESS?

housndespli: you want to hear da JOKE about da CHESS? IT FUNNY!!!

Adolef: of course.. bring it on

housndespli: thank!!!

housndespli: ok is rook walking round da CHESSboard

housndespli: look at da pawn, smile

housndespli: look at da bish, smile

housndespli: look at da queen, smile

housndespli: look at da king, get SCARED and JUMP

housndespli: king laugh and say ROOK WHY YOU JUMP?

housndespli: rook say HEY KING, not realise you have da HAMMER IN POCKET!!!

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: you like???

Adolef: I did not get it

housndespli: THANK!!!

housndespli: oh i make mistake with end of da JOKE!!

housndespli: sorry!!!

housndespli: rook SAY hey king i not realise you have da HAMMER IN DA POCKET OF DA PAWN NEAR DA QUEEN!!!

housndespli: IT FUNNY NOW???

housndespli: 🙂

Adolef: Still not getting it

Adolef: Never mind

housndespli: i SORRY please not hate da ME???

housndespli: you have da JOKE 4 me please???

housndespli: i can ask you ONE questi please?

GAME OVERAdolef vs. housndespli – housndespli won by resignation (+12).

Adolef: Ask

housndespli: thank!!! do you love da CHESS?

 

***

NEW GAMEhousndespli  vs. SazerX

SazerX: hi

housndespli: hello pip

housndespli: you FRIEND of ME?

SazerX: my names not pip

housndespli: SORRY MY friend of friend

housndespli: you HATE ME FOR my LIFE?

SazerX: I dont hate you

housndespli: thank THANK! I HAPPY to know it da hand clap clap

housndespli: you want hear JOKE about SNOW???

SazerX: what are u talking about

SazerX: ok

housndespli: thank!!

housndespli: ok, is man walking in cloud, cloud start to snow

housndespli: man walk along cloud and sing da praise of da snow

housndespli: cloud turn to da man and say ‘WHAT DA HELL YOU DOING? DA SNOW IS NOT SNOW, DA SNOW IS MIP!!!’

housndespli: man die (maybe)

housndespli: (sorry forgot da end)

housndespli: you like?

SazerX: ok

housndespli: THANK HATE/MIP/NOT KILL HOPE

SazerX: yes

SazerX: you have to improve your English

housndespli: da RAIN in da SPAIN fall MAINly on da PLAIN

housndespli: IS GOOD NOW?

SazerX: not really but better

housndespli: watch us wreck da mike, watch us wreck da mike, watch us wreck da mike…

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. SazerX – housndespli won by checkmate (+8).

housndespli: …PSYCHE!!!

***

NEW GAME (140689791)housndespli  vs. oliver3364

oliver3364: ?

oliver3364: move

housndespli: hello!

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: how are ye?

oliver3364: fine thx

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: what you like in da CHESS please?

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: CHES FUN!!!

housndespli: WE HAVE DA FUN PLAY!

oliver3364: of course

housndespli: thank!

oliver3364: we play for funa

housndespli: you like da CHESS?

housndespli: PLESAE???

housndespli: 😮

oliver3364: as we play all games

housndespli: WHAT OTHER GAME YE LIKE TO LOVE?

housndespli: plesae?

oliver3364: i dont like other virtual games

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: you like da ‘butterfly moppo’?

oliver3364: i dont know it

housndespli: it FUN!

housndespli: you want play butterfly moppo NOW?

housndespli: Plesae?

oliver3364: no no

oliver3364: just chess

housndespli: yes yes FUN!

housndespli: I BE BUTTERFLY

housndespli: YE BE MOPPO

housndespli: GO!!!!

housndespli: GO GO GO MOPPO!

housndespli: bzzzzzzzz i chase ye!!!

housndespli: bzzzzzzzz i fly down pon ye!!!

housndespli: fly butterfly fly!!!

housndespli: bzzzzz

housndespli: hey

housndespli: hey!

housndespli: why ye not play buttermoppo???

housndespli: 🙁

housndespli: ye HATE me?

housndespli: bzzz?

housndespli: b-z-z-z?

housndespli: hahahaha i know ye!

housndespli: ye play da SILENT buttermoppo!!!

housndespli: hehehehehe

housndespli: (bzzzz) shhh (bzzz)

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. oliver3364 – housndespli won by checkmate (+8).

housndespli: bzzzzzzzz!!!!

housndespli: butterfly zap da moppppppppo!!!!

oliver3364: ibye

housndespli: imip

housndespli: 🙂

oliver3364 has left the chat.

***

NEW GAME (94352409)MoHasanie vs. housndespli (15 0 rated)

 

MoHasanie: alot of israeli players online today!

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: how are ye?

MoHasanie: good, u?

housndespli: good thank!

housndespli: where you from live da place please friend?

MoHasanie: sorry, i didn’t understand?

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: where from you live please da friend?

housndespli: PLEASE WHERE FROM YE?

MoHasanie: i am from Canada

housndespli: thank!

MoHasanie: your welcome

housndespli: you love da israel from da friend please?

MoHasanie: i do not love Israel. I am neutral

housndespli: thank! i love da canadani for it place i will live in two month

housndespli: i work for da israel moth company they send me to da canadani to research moth for import/export/hammersmash

housndespli: you know da moth place please?

MoHasanie: no, i never heard of it. But congratulations on your job!

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: you work in da moth industrialisation please? or if not work in da moth what ye do for live?

MoHasanie: a neurosurgeon

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: i prefer da moth because it not what ye can do for your moth but what your moth can do for ye

housndespli: you have JOKE for me from CANADANI you can tell to me PLEASE FRIEND?

MoHasanie: what did the dog say to the tree?

housndespli: hahaha!!

housndespli: is good joke THANK!!!

housndespli: you have another please?

MoHasanie: i know right. I am perfect comedian

housndespli: hehehehe

housndespli: i like da JOKE!! i will tell to my friend in ISRAELI TOWN AND CITY!!!

MoHasanie: hahaha, thanks for making me famous

housndespli: THANK YE! THANK YE DOUBLE!!!

MoHasanie: so you like moths, huh?

housndespli: i not like i hate, i research how to kill da moth with da microhammer – why you say i love da moth you want to laugh upon me friend?

MoHasanie: haha, moths are too cool for school

housndespli: thank!!!

housndespli: you ever chase da moth in canadani? or moth chase ye??!?!?!?!?

MoHasanie: yeah, i eat them

MoHasanie: they are delicious, yum

housndespli: you know da film johnny hunt da moth II?

MoHasanie: too goood movie

housndespli: thank!!! i was IN DA FILM!!!

MoHasanie: that one and Soul plane are my favourites

MoHasanie: and also american pie 5

housndespli: i play da friend of johnny with da microshotgun da chase moth from here to tanzania

MoHasanie: WOW, its funny how you are a actor, and a moth/Palestinian murderer

housndespli: thank!!!

housndespli: not as funny as da JOKE!!! i still laughter from da joke, shake shake shake with da laught!!!

MoHasanie: haha, thats so gay, lol

housndespli: thank!!! many thank from da west bank!!!

MoHasanie: haha, and same to u

housndespli: thank!!!

housndespli: you can win prize if tell me where da moth first begin to fly???

MoHasanie: in your ass

MoHasanie: joke

housndespli: WRONG!!! i win da PRIZE!!!

MoHasanie: no, i win

housndespli: not understand you were wrong i win da prize no complaining no argue from da canadani please friend

housndespli: you stop to argue please thank!?

MoHasanie: same to you israeli

housndespli: HAHAHA is another joke?

MoHasanie: ofcourse

housndespli: thank!

***

NEW GAME (132559033)chris121144 vs. housndespli (15 0 rated)

chris121144 has joined the chat.

housndespli: hello!

housndespli: how are ye?

chris121144: fine

chris121144: hi

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: how da biffo please da friend?

housndespli: HOW DA CYPRUS LOVE/HATE/MIP? PLEAS DA FRIEND?

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: I think Israel is constantly in combat is that true?

housndespli: Select a word from the ones written in our conversation

chris121144: I m not sure…

housndespli: Stop saying mip unless you want to explain it to me

housndespli: then after doubleclicking it right click it

housndespli: ONE DAY I WILL BE SUPER MIP!!! What do you mean?

housndespli: I m afraid that war occur without what people want

housndespli: I dont know biffo or pippy to be greek words

housndespli: chris121144: I am not from cyprus

chris121144: I dont know where yuo r from

housndespli: thank!!!

housndespli: how many da MIP please???

chris121144: MIP???

housndespli: what mean da MIP please friend?

chris121144: I dont know you tell me

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: how is da cyprus people n da pheas?

chris121144: thank you

chris121144: what do u want?

housndespli: i love da chess want play da CHESS – and ye?

chris121144: I love chess too

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: what da favourite PIECE please?

chris121144: bishop

housndespli: thank!

chris121144: urs?

housndespli: i love da BISH but love da PHEAS more!! da PHEAS MAKE ME LAUGH LIKE DA HAPP!

chris121144: PHEAS?

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: U R FRIEND!

housndespli: LIKE DA PHEAS N DA SNAIL!

chris121144: why do u keep saying thank?

housndespli: THANK!!!*

housndespli: (*not thank)

housndespli: 🙁

chris121144: r u crazy?

housndespli: why you hate da me for da CYPRUS? PLEASE BIFFO?

chris121144: I dont hate u

housndespli: THANK!

chris121144: I have no idea what ur talking about

housndespli: THANK!

chris121144: is mop the same as mip?

housndespli: YE KNOW TOO MUCH

housndespli has disabled chat

***

 

NEW GAME (132563495)housndespli vs. chris121144 (15 0 rated)

housndespli: HELLO FRIEND D A !

chris121144: why do u think i know too much? Hello mine

housndespli: THANK!

chris121144: r u from Israel?

housndespli: YE!

housndespli: AND YE?

chris121144: Greece

housndespli: NOT DA CYP? 🙁

chris121144: no

chris121144: Do u hate Cyprus?

housndespli: I SCARED OF DA CYP

chris121144: why?

housndespli: mip

chris121144: whats mip?

housndespli: it like mop but BIGGER

housndespli: BADDER

housndespli: ROUGHER

housndespli: TOUGHER

housndespli: IN OTHER WORD SUCKER THERE IS DA NO OTHER

chris121144: whats mop?

housndespli has disabled chat

 

 

***

NEW GAME (130811293)housndespli vs. abusultan (15 0 rated)

abusultan: hi

housndespli: hello pip?

housndespli: how are ye!?

GAME OVERabusultan vs. housndespli – housndespli won by checkmate (+10).

NEW GAME (130811293)housndespli vs. abusultan (15 0 rated)

abusultan has joined the chat.

abusultan: sorry, did notice, iam fine thanks

abusultan: iam from Jericho, wher are you

housndespli: thank! i love da jerich

housndespli: i love da casino da friend?

abusultan: me too

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: where you know da mip please?

housndespli: PLEASE FROM WHERE DA MIP/MOP/SOUP?

housndespli: habibi

abusultan: yes habibi,

housndespli: hamipi

housndespli: hamopi?

housndespli: YOU LOVE DA CHESS PLEASE?

abusultan: yes, almost everyday

housndespli: thank! 🙂

housndespli: what name u please?

abusultan: Isam

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: my name flippovich

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: you have joke for me PLEAS?

abusultan: why

housndespli: i LOVE da JOKE!

housndespli: U WANT ME TELL U DA JOKE ABOUT DA CASINO?

abusultan: jericho casino

housndespli: yes!

housndespli: was man walking to da casino

housndespli: see friend with da ant n snail in hand

housndespli: say why you got da ant AND da snail, moppo?

housndespli: friend say shut da mouth, shut shut shut, not ant, not snail, not NOTHING FROM DA PHEAS!!!

housndespli: HAHAHAHAHA!!!

housndespli: u like? 🙂

abusultan: not so much, so quick

housndespli: THANK!*

abusultan: you sound like italian

housndespli: (* not thank)

abusultan: or mexican

housndespli: i from da sarajevokovic

abusultan: near ussr

housndespli: what? WHAT? MAKE NO SENSE 🙁

abusultan: sorry, no ungry

housndespli: SARAJEVOKOVIC STREET NEAR TO DA PLACE IN DA JERUSALEMPOVOSKI

housndespli: i very ungry no soup no lunch – you are ungry friend?

abusultan: ok jerusalem

housndespli: you are friend of da friend play da chess nice like friend?

housndespli: 🙂

abusultan: i come home August lets play chess near dead sea

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: i meet you on da chair next to da other chair next to man with da towel

abusultan: i did not see queen, you cheater

housndespli: sorry not want da queen you want me give da back to ye?

abusultan: it is ok only a game

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: it is only DA SOUP AND ROLL BUT I LIKE IT!!!

GAME OVERhousndespli vs. abusultan – housndespli won by checkmate (+9).

GAME ANALYSIS – Analyze this game – with your opponent | alone

abusultan: thanks

housndespli: thank!

abusultan: i lost

housndespli: i mip

housndespli: u mip

housndespli: we all mip together!

abusultan: see you

housndespli: not if da mip da ye 1st!!! only kiddovich 😛

 

***

NEW GAME (390763483) – uly42 vs. housndespli (15 0 rated) (win: 17, draw: -3, loss: -24)

housndespli: HELLO?

housndespli: hi friedn? \

housndespli: :)))

uly42: Hello how are you

housndespli: THANK!

 

housndespli: i happo because of da elececectio!housndespli: you like da romno or da bama?

housndespli: plesae?

housndespli: o-BAMA

uly42: OBAMA!

housndespli: what mean OBAMA! plesae friend?

housndespli: like da BAMA!?

uly42: I’m curious; how do people feel about Obama in Israel? Yes I like Obama

housndespli: we love to love da BAMA because he want make for da israe da small bird of peace with da cypruss

housndespli: you like?

housndespli: i scare of da cypruss

housndespli: want da peacos avec da cyp

uly42: Yes I Love your Nation!

housndespli: THANK! but DA CYPRUS MAKE YE SCARE?

housndespli: you want hear da joke about da cyp?

housndespli: plesae?

housndespli: 🙂

uly42: yes

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: when you want da hear plesa?

uly42: now

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: ok is man from da cypruss

housndespli: walk near da floor

housndespli: run near da wall

housndespli: clamber pon da house!

housndespli: house say HEY HEY RUN NOW YA CYP

housndespli: man say NO NOT RUN, NOT DA CYP, I DA mighty-MOP!!!!

housndespli: HAHAHAHA!

housndespli: YE LIKE?

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: 😛

uly42: Very funny!
housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: ye have jeek for me plesa?

housndespli: NOW JOKEE PLESA? NOW!

uly42: I am not good at telling jokes funny

housndespli: SORRO where ya go/gee?

housndespli: ok no problo

housndespli: i sorro ye HATE me

housndespli: 🙁

housndespli: because i da jeeish

housndespli: not nice hate da jeeish

uly42: No No I LOVE JEWISH PEOPLE

uly42: I just don’t have a good joke

housndespli: sorro i scare of YE because ye HATOS me for thinkos i killos da KRISTOS

housndespli: (NOT KILLOS KRISTOS was MISTAKE 🙁

uly42: No I don’t hate you

housndespli: but ye hate da CYPRUSS or da ANTARCT?

GAME OVER – uly42 vs. housndespli – housndespli won by checkmate (+17).

housndespli: thank?

uly42: gg

housndespli: ye WIN da me?

housndespli: what plesa da gg/

housndespli: ?

uly42: you are very good

housndespli: it becos of da CYP?

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: ye are like da moth

NEW GAME (390774699) – housndespli [1.0] vs. uly42 [0.0] (15 0 rated) (win: 15, draw: -5, loss: -24)

housndespli: ye can SPEAK to moth in da u.s.a.d?

housndespli: or NOT DA LEGALL?

housndespli: YOU ARE THERERE FRIENDI?

housndespli: 🙁

housndespli: :p

housndespli: :—)

uly42: yes

housndespli: yes WHATOS?

housndespli: YE STILL ANGROS OF KRISTOS?

housndespli: I SAY SORROS

housndespli: how many JEE have ye pleasea?

uly42: what does JEE mean?

housndespli: JEE da people da ISRAEE

housndespli: YE HAVE MORE FROM ONE JEE PLESEA?

uly42: Yes I have alot I JEE FRIENDS

housndespli: YE LIKE DA poem PLESA?

housndespli: I CAN TELL YE DA POEEM?

uly42: thank you

housndespli: (plesae?)

housndespli: :I

housndespli: ok thank!

housndespli: a sailo wend da jee jee jee

housndespli: to see whatos he can jee jee jee

housndespli: and allos he can jee jee jee

housndespli: jee jee jee jee jee jee jee jee jee jee jee jee

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: happo?

uly42: yes yes

uly42: You are strong chess player!

housndespli: thank

housndespli: ye are HAPPO MOTHO!

housndespli: SO WE ARE FREE TO BE JEE PON DA M.I.C.!!!!

uly42: Yes

GAME OVER – housndespli vs. uly42 – housndespli won by checkmate (+15).

GAME ANALYSIS – Analyze this game – with your opponent | alone

uly42: gg

housndespli: WHAT MEAN GG PLEE?

uly42 has offered you a rematch – accept | decline

housndespli: WHAT MEAN REMATCHI? PLESA?

housndespli: it word for da jee or da kristosi?

uly42: please

housndespli: thank!

uly42: one more game

housndespli: yes! plesa!

housndespli: first plesa ye sing to me quick songadi?

housndespli: any songadi

housndespli: thank

uly42: ok

housndespli: i love da SONGADI de la u.s.a.d.

housndespli: thank

housndespli: thank

housndespli: thank

housndespli: thank

housndespli: where da songadi plesa?

uly42: mary had a little lamb little lamb

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: what meanos plesa?

housndespli: who da maryi?

uly42: a little damsel

housndespli: where da lambo?

housndespli: DAMSELI IS DA JEE?

housndespli: NOT UNDERSTANDOS ?

housndespli: ye LOVE jeedamsel or HATE JEEdamseli?

uly42: the lamb is her farm animal

housndespli: you drink da JEE winee tonightos?

housndespli: ye funno!!!

housndespli: 🙂

housndespli: ‘animo’

housndespli: hahahahaha

housndespli: no thing da ANMIO!!!!

uly42: No don’t drink wine

housndespli: YE SOUND FROM DA CYPREEI!!!

housndespli: HAHAHAHAHA

uly42: funny

housndespli: FUNNY FUN FUN

uly42: ha ha ha !!!!!

housndespli: HOW OLD YE PLE?

uly42: one more game

uly42: ok

uly42: 44

housndespli: I SORRO

uly42: How old are you?

housndespli: I AGEO 95.8

housndespli: CAPITALOS F.M.

***

NEW GAME (458448364) – housndespli vs. FarmerBob (15 0 rated) (win: 6, draw: -2, loss: -10)

housndespli: he;llo!

housndespli: how are ye pls?

housndespli: 🙂

FarmerBob: pleased to meet you

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: ye REAL farme pls?

FarmerBob: yes

housndespli: i love da FARMIG!

housndespli: my familo have many land and COW!!!

FarmerBob: taking a break right now

housndespli: ye know da cow? pls?

FarmerBob: haha it is a nice occupation

housndespli: cow blick n white

FarmerBob: yes I have 20 cows

housndespli: yay!

housndespli: what name of cow pls?

FarmerBob: they are all different. my favorite is ying-yang

housndespli: hahahe!

housndespli: fun!

housndespli: ye have jokeo for me of COW pls? or want me tell jokeo to YE?

FarmerBob: what do cows like to do on their free time?

housndespli: hahaha! good jokeo!!

housndespli: ye have one moreo pls?

FarmerBob: go to the moooooovies

housndespli: not understando

housndespli: 🙁

housndespli: sorro

housndespli: if offendo ye

FarmerBob: video films

FarmerBob: no

FarmerBob: you do not offend

housndespli: sorro

FarmerBob: cows go moo

FarmerBob: so they go to the mooovie

housndespli: if ye hate ME for offendo 🙁

housndespli: moo? not undestando

FarmerBob: ne offense

housndespli: what mean moo pls?

FarmerBob: but I just lost haha good game

GAME OVER – housndespli vs. FarmerBob – housndespli won by resignation (+6).

GAME ANALYSIS – Analyze this game – with your opponent | alone

housndespli: moo?

FarmerBob: yes that is the sound they make

housndespli: moovie?

housndespli: of what make pls?

housndespli: moovie?

FarmerBob: it is probably different in hebrew

housndespli: what mean moovie pls? it HATE for da ISRAEL?

FarmerBob: the sound cows make is moo

housndespli: 🙁

FarmerBob: a movie is a video

FarmerBob: a film

housndespli: IN ISRAELO?

FarmerBob: motion picture?

housndespli: thank but sorro

FarmerBob: no english

housndespli: what is cow pls?

housndespli: not understando why YE hate da ME?

FarmerBob: haha I do not hate you

housndespli: cow?

FarmerBob: yes?

housndespli: what cow pls?

housndespli: with wheel n engin?

FarmerBob: that’s a car!

housndespli: i have many but no ‘MOO’

housndespli: YES! CAR! U HAVE DA CAR PLS?

FarmerBob: hahaha

housndespli: my family have many from da CAR!

FarmerBob: ohhhhhhhh

FarmerBob: yes I have a car

housndespli: sorro if YE HATE da FAMILIO 🙁

housndespli: what is COW pls?

FarmerBob: haha no no

FarmerBob: I don’t hate anyone

FarmerBob: a cow has 4 legs and eat grass

FarmerBob: it is a farm animal

housndespli: but why ye say cow mooove ? pls?

housndespli: i HATE cow

housndespli: scare o of da cow

housndespli: hit COW with da CAR

FarmerBob: cows go “moo” when they talk

housndespli: SUPERCAR = no more da movoovie

FarmerBob: hahaha what?

housndespli: ye hate cow? pls?

FarmerBob: no I do not hate anything

FarmerBob: but I have to go back to work.

housndespli: ye want hear da JOKEO abt da car?

housndespli: pls?

FarmerBob: ok 1 jokeo

FarmerBob: go ahead

housndespli: how many CAR in da field of JERUESALM?

FarmerBob: how many?

housndespli: (it da TRICK QUEST!!!)

FarmerBob: there are no fields in jeruesalm?

housndespli: 5 = becaues 5 is da name of da LORD OF DA CHRIST!!!

housndespli: HAHAHAHAHE!

housndespli: YE LIKE? FRIEND0O?

FarmerBob: ohhh

FarmerBob: haha I get it

housndespli: one more quest for ye pls?

FarmerBob: cool!

housndespli: why ye hate DA MIP?

housndespli: PLS?

FarmerBob: what is da mip?

housndespli: MIP = GOODO, NOT HATEO

housndespli: MIP = MOP

FarmerBob: sorry I do not understand?

housndespli: i sorro ye HATE da me. 🙁 pls not hate da MIP

housndespli: THANK! GG! MIPMIP!

FarmerBob: haha I don’t hate anyone!

FarmerBob: gg!

FarmerBob: bye bye!

FarmerBob has left the chat.

housndespli: MOO?

***

NEW GAME – housndespli  vs. crysgen

crysgen: u r dead

housndespli: u r mip

housndespli: or r u mop?

housndespli: please which r u mip/mop live/die chick/pheas?

GAME OVER – housndespli vs. crysgen – housndespli won by checkmate (+9)

crysgen: im watching movies

housndespli: i’m mipping on a star to fall

 

***

NEW GAME (467786402) – housndespli vs. luffy468 (15 0 rated) (win: 9, draw: 1, loss: -7)

 

housndespli: hello!

luffy468: hi

luffy468: hi

housndespli: hi

housndespli: hi

housndespli: how are ye friendo?

luffy468: fine, u?

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: i fine! thank!

housndespli: how is in da europ pls?

luffy468: dunno

luffy468: not interested in news

housndespli: sorro if offendo 🙁

housndespli: where ye live pleas if not euro?

luffy468: france

housndespli: thank! i luv da france! je suis chess

housndespli: je m’appelle chess

luffy468: vraiment?

housndespli: sur le pont d’avigchess

housndespli: oui!

housndespli: as tu beacoup de mips?

luffy468: c quoi?

housndespli: mip? c’est un petit pheas

housndespli: ou un petit moppo

housndespli: as tu?

luffy468: je ne vois toujours pas

housndespli: oui, je sais, j’ai beacoup de mippos mais je les deteste

housndespli: est qu’il ya un pheas a cote de ta ville?

luffy468: je sais pas ce qu’est un pheas

luffy468: tu parles d’oiseaux?

housndespli: un pheas? c’est comme un chien mais avec plus grand et avec du pain du vin du boursin

housndespli: oui!

housndespli: je DETESTE le pheas!!!

luffy468: y a que des pigeons et des pies

housndespli: de temps a temps mais le maison de phizzy pheas c’est le PLUS GRAND DANS TOUT LE MONDE!!!

housndespli: TU CONNAIT?

luffy468: phizzy pheas???

housndespli: excuse moi, phozzy pheas

luffy468: c’est quoi, un phozy pheas?

housndespli: c’est francais, n’est pas? j’ai ecrir un livre de louis laloupe et claude le clochard sur la subjet de phozzy pheas

luffy468: jamis entendu parler

housndespli: comment on dire ‘joke’ en francais? comme, pouvez vous me dire un ‘joke’ de france? j’adores les ‘jokes’ de pays autres si as tu un pour moi?!

luffy468: *jamais

housndespli: ou je peut dire a toi d’ISRAELI!!!

luffy468: blague, plaisanterie

housndespli: MERCI! THANK!

housndespli: as tu un pour moi, our tu preferes je dire a toi?

housndespli: 🙂

luffy468: tu sais comment on dit “stalemate” en français, oui?

housndespli: non, comment?

luffy468: pat

luffy468: et voici la blague

housndespli: hahahah! pourquoi? comme la postman?

luffy468: RxDa4 pat

housndespli: et son chat noir et blanc? hehehehehe!

luffy468: Roi prend Dame à 4 pat(tes)

housndespli: 🙂 c’est bon. je comprend parce que je sais le pat de la poste

housndespli: je peut dire un a toi?

luffy468: vas-y

housndespli: merci! thank!

housndespli: combien mips il y a dans la parc des princes???

luffy468: aucune idée

housndespli: (c’est difficile, je sais)

housndespli: oui/non?

luffy468: 3?

housndespli: oui!!! trois – parce que trois = mip, phizz=pheas, mip=moprovich thank=poppo!!!!hahahahaha ! tu aimes?

housndespli: c’est plus bon en anglais 🙁

luffy468: ?????

housndespli: thank! mip! mop! phizz!

luffy468: toujours pas

housndespli: ye have 1 mip 4 da phizz pheas pls/plz? thank!

luffy468: jeu de mot?

luffy468: mais je comprends pas “phizz” et “pheas”

housndespli: we can speako da engli pls? i can explaino da phizz

luffy468: alright

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: ye have how many pheas pls?

housndespli: how many chess have ye pls?

luffy468: but WHAT is phaeas, please?

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: me too!

luffy468: ah, pheas means chess?

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: ye have many pheas pls?

luffy468: 3

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: how many phizz have ye pls?

housndespli: sorro if offendo not want YE hate ME for da MIP

housndespli: 🙁

luffy468: i don’t even understand, don’t worry

housndespli: SORRO

housndespli: what mean luffy pls?

housndespli: it name of HATE from da MONTAIGNE? WHY YE HATE FROM DA MONTAIGNE?

luffy468: Luffy is the name of the main character in the manga “One Piece”

housndespli: I NOT HATE YE, WHY YE HATE ME?

luffy468: i don’t hate you

luffy468: ?

luffy468: neither do i hate Montaigne

housndespli: SORRO i not understando propero

housndespli: ye hate da pheas?

housndespli: is ok if hate da pheas da pheas EVILE

luffy468: if pheas = chess, i don’t hate “pheas”

housndespli: thank! but pheas=phizz=MOPPO!

luffy468: and moppo=?

housndespli: ye are serious ye not know da moppo

luffy468: no

housndespli: da leetle leetle moppo?

luffy468: little moppo??

housndespli: yes, ye know he?

luffy468: no

housndespli has disabled chat

 

***

 

NEW GAME (531969157) – markolos vs. housndespli(15 0 rated) (win: 9, draw: 1, loss: -8)

markolos: hello

housndespli: hello! how are ye?

housndespli:) ye like da chess pls?

markolos: I’m fine, thanks, hope you are too. Love chess, play alot

housndespli: thank! how many CHESS have ye pls?

housndespli: ye have more from 4???

markolos: I don’t quite understand your english. How many what?

housndespli: believe da word = CHESS? maybe i not say right, sorro for offend

housndespli:(

markolos: No offense :) Chess is the game, but how many chess? Games? 4000? About right…

markolos: 4 years? More

housndespli: thank! wery thank! is wery nice number!!! more from me!!!

housndespli: which piece ye like da MOST pls?

markolos: Knight

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: ye want hear da FUNNO joke pon da knight??!??!

markolos: sure

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: how many KNIGHT in da house of MYSTERIO?

housndespli: (careful, tricky questio!!!)

markolos: tell me

housndespli: 10!

markolos: I dont get it :)

housndespli: because 10 = mysterio = KNIGHT FANDANGI!!! (FROM DA TELEWISIO SHOW!!!)

housndespli:)

markolos: I should watch more TV

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: ye have 1 jokeo 4 me pls?

markolos: Nope, I forget jokes as soon as I hear them

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: what countro ye from pls?

markolos: You can put your mouse over the flag (next to my nick name)… Croatia

markolos: You’re Israel

housndespli: thank! what mean ‘mouse’ pls? not understando – sorro for offend

markolos: Mouse, in computer terms, the thing you have in your hand, your move it to move the pointer on the screen.

housndespli: thank! wery thank!

housndespli: ye have da questio 4 me pls?

housndespli: pon da CHESS?

housndespli;)

markolos: how long do you play?

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: WERY KIND FOR YE TO SAY!

markolos: You than(s) too much :)

housndespli:( sorro not want YE hate ME

housndespli: ye want 4 hear da joke about da BISJOP?

markolos: pls

housndespli: HOW does da bisjop find da king at end of da game??!

markolos: dunno

housndespli: he ask da PHIZZYPHEAS!!!!

housndespli: HAHAHAHA!!!

markolos: Another TV show?

housndespli: ye!!! PHIZZOPHEAS N DA NATION OF BISJOP!!! ye watch???

markolos: no

markolos: Are you from Jamaica or something? What’s with “ye” and “da”?

housndespli: ye want me send to ye da LINKO 4 da show? pon da internet?

markolos: Nah, I don’t have time for TV shows

housndespli: sorro for offendeth b/cos i from da jamaique

housndespli: ye HATE da jamaiqi?

markolos: No, just asking.

markolos: They talk like that

markolos: Oh, you are…

housndespli: ye want hear da jokeo abt da JAMAIQIANI?

housndespli: IT FUNNO!

markolos: No more TV show jokes pls

housndespli: IT NOT ABT TELEWISION!!!

markolos: If it’s not, go ahead

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: where doth jamaiqia family go 4 da holiday???

markolos: damn, you and your jokes… I guess North pole

housndespli: thank! wery nice guesso!

housndespli: but answer is MOUNT KILLASMASH!!! :)

housndespli: ye get da joeko?

markolos: nope

markolos: kill da who?

housndespli: from da radio programmos ZIGGY KILLASMASH N DA GIRAFFO!

markolos: Oh well..

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: ye want hear da joeko abt da MOUSE?

markolos: I’m not sure

housndespli: THANK!

markolos: lol

housndespli: WHAT MEAN PLS? ‘LOL’ – it word of da HATE?

housndespli:(

markolos: You are pretending not to know..

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: WERY!

GAME OVER – markolos vs. housndespli – housndespli won by resignation (+9).

markolos: thank pon da chess

markolos: no hate man

housndespli: THANK PON DA KILLASMASH!

***

 

 

NEW GAME (472173405) – housndespli vs. Full_of_Scotch (15 0 rated) (win: 6, draw: -2, loss: -10)

housndespli: hello!

housndespli: how are ye?

housndespli:)

Full_of_Scotch: hey

Full_of_Scotch: i’m alright

Full_of_Scotch: how’re you

housndespli: thank! what name MEAN pls?

housndespli: thank i fine and mip

housndespli: *mop

Full_of_Scotch: scotch whisky

housndespli: thank! fun!!!

housndespli: ye like da joke? ye have JOKE for me pls from da utd state?

housndespli: or want joke from me to ye?

housndespli:)

Full_of_Scotch: sure

housndespli: thank!

Full_of_Scotch: i’ll try to think of one

housndespli: why did MAN run from da MIP?

Full_of_Scotch: what’s mip?

housndespli: ye not know da mip?

Full_of_Scotch: no

housndespli: ok i do anothero joke

housndespli: why did MAN run from da PHEAS?!?!?

Full_of_Scotch: sorry i don’t know pheas either.

housndespli: SORRO not mean to offendo ye :(

housndespli: knocko knocko…

Full_of_Scotch: it doesn’t offend me

Full_of_Scotch: i have no idea what it means

Full_of_Scotch: who’s there

housndespli: ye know da knocko knocko joke?

Full_of_Scotch: ya

housndespli: knocko knocko

Full_of_Scotch: who’s there

housndespli: moppa

Full_of_Scotch: moppa who

housndespli: moppa CHICKISTA pippa!!! hahahaha!!! ye like???

Full_of_Scotch: pretty funny man

housndespli: thank!! ye have 1 4 me pls?

Full_of_Scotch: what’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

GAME OVER – housndespli vs. Full_of_Scotch – housndespli won by resignation (+6)

GAME ANALYSIS – Analyze this game – with your opponent | alone

Full_of_Scotch has offered you a rematch – accept | decline

housndespli: hahahaha!!! i LUV da joke!!!

Full_of_Scotch: you know the answer?

housndespli: i thought was da WHOLEO joke!?

Full_of_Scotch: the difference is snowballs

housndespli: thank!!!

Full_of_Scotch: another game?

housndespli: yes pls!

Full_of_Scotch: you distracted me

Full_of_Scotch: lol

housndespli: thank! what mean snobal pls?

Full_of_Scotch: it is a ball made of snow

housndespli: it word of HATE?

Full_of_Scotch: no

housndespli: WHY YE HATE DA MIP PLS?

Full_of_Scotch: i don’t know what the MIP is

Full_of_Scotch: i can’t hate or like it if i don’t know what it is

Full_of_Scotch: what is the MIP?

housndespli: but if ye not fully know da mip why ye want HATE pon da mip? not nice to hate

Full_of_Scotch: i don’t hate it

Full_of_Scotch: i said that

Full_of_Scotch: i never said i hated it

Full_of_Scotch: so what is MIP?

housndespli: ok i forgiv ye but pls not to HATE b4 da mip. ye like da phizzy pheas? pls?

Full_of_Scotch: I don’t know what phizzy pheas is

housndespli: or TOLERATO da phizz?

Full_of_Scotch: please tell me

housndespli: miminimum to TOLERATEO

Full_of_Scotch: what is phizz?

housndespli: PHIZZ like da CHESS!!! YE HAVE MANY CHESS PLS?

housndespli: want hear da jokeo of da CHESS pls?

Full_of_Scotch: ok

housndespli: thank! how many BISH in da corner of da board???

Full_of_Scotch: idk

housndespli: 3!!! because BISH, BASH, MIP!!!

housndespli: YE LIKE??? ‘;)

Full_of_Scotch: I don’t understand it. sorry

housndespli: SORRO FOR OFFENDO YE

Full_of_Scotch: what is bish, bash and MIP?

Full_of_Scotch: no you don’t offend me

Full_of_Scotch: i just don’t know what you are talking about

Full_of_Scotch: what is MIP?

housndespli: MIP IS da word for da MIGHTY ONE, DA HOLY ONE, DA ONE LIVE PON HIGH IN DA NEST OF DA PHIZZY PHEAS

housndespli: ye read da NEWSPAPAR?

housndespli: today MIP on page 15!!!

housndespli: b/cause MIP smiteo DA SNAIL!

Full_of_Scotch: page 15 of which newspaper?

housndespli: da MIPPO CHRONICLO – ye read it?

Full_of_Scotch: never heard of it

housndespli: sorro 4 offendeth ye

housndespli: ye have da GOOGLEO?

Full_of_Scotch: i just did. nothing came up

housndespli: YES! B/CAUSE mip banish from da GOOGLEO 4 DA REASON OF POLITICIAIO

housndespli: GOOGLEO SCARE FROM DA MIP, BUT MIP WILL WIN, MIP WILL BE UNITEDING 4 DA GLOBEO

housndespli: ye like da chess?

Full_of_Scotch: why are the politicians scared of MIP?

housndespli: b/cause of da PHIZZ – it terriblo sitautio

Full_of_Scotch: What is PHIZZ?

housndespli: phizz = bish

Full_of_Scotch: I don’t know BISH either

housndespli: what DOTH ye know pls?

Full_of_Scotch: About what?

housndespli: ABOUT DOING DA LOCOMOTIONO

housndespli: JUMP UP, JUMP BACKO, I THINK YE HAVE DA KNACKO, WOAH, WOAH

Full_of_Scotch: I think I’m going to go. Nice talking to you.

housndespli: THANK! pls say hello 2 da PHIZZ from me and da MIP

Full_of_Scotch: what is the phizz?

housndespli: PHIZZ = LOCOMOTIONO. everybody doing da brand new danceo now

housndespli: cmon cmon do da phizzy pheas now

housndespli: ye are doing da phizzy pheas? or it just me???

housndespli: sorro4offendoye.net

***

NEW GAME (466501566) – woody64 vs. housndespli (15 0 rated) (win: 7, draw: -1, loss: -9)

housndespli: hello how are ye?

woody64: very well – hope all is good with you

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: where ye live pls? not know da flago

woody64: isle of man – little island in the irish sea

housndespli: thank! ye have many CHESS in isle da man pls?

woody64: one chess club

housndespli: THANK! ye like da joke about da chess? want me for tell ye da jokeo?

woody64: carry on

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: how many CHESS in da street of COLOMBI?

housndespli: (careful, is tricky questiono…)

housndespli: i give ye clueo

housndespli: mip

woody64: give in

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: ten, because colombi=10, 10=mip, mip=mop, PHEAS=CHESS!!!!! 🙂

housndespli: HAHAHAHA!

housndespli: YE LIKE?

woody64: goof

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: WHAT MEAN GOOF PLS?

woody64: good – sorry

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: ye have jokeo for me pls?

housndespli: sorro if offendo ye not want ye HATE me for da JOKEO

housndespli: 🙁

woody64: you don’t offend 🙂

housndespli: thank but WHY YE SAY ME DA GOOF? i look pon da INTERNETTO say GOOF WORD OF DA HATE TO ME FROM YE 🙁

woody64: pressed the letter f instead of d

housndespli: ye hate me b/cause i am DA PHEAS?

housndespli: OR B/CAUSE I CONJUR MIP FROM DA MOP?

woody64: pressed the wrong letter on the keyboard

housndespli: OR B/CAUSE I MET HIM ON DA MONDA AND MY HEART DA STOODO STILL?

housndespli: DA DO MIP MIP MIP, DA DO MIP MOP

housndespli: pls to explain, before i go 4 da novembo

housndespli: not want tell da MOEDERATO but ye HURTO me with SPITEO

housndespli: 🙁

woody64: play chess

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: AND YE TEE

housndespli: ye have jokeo 4 me pls friendy?

woody64: no

housndespli: hahaha! good jokeo! not understando fullo, but like da FUN!

housndespli: 1 MORE PLS? LONGER 1 PLS?

housndespli: OR WANT MORE FROM JOKE FROM DA ME?

woody64: not today

housndespli: is whole jokeo? or is puncheline too?

housndespli: ye want FUNFACTRIVIA bout da chess? pls? 🙂

woody64: no

housndespli: pls? tiny factovision?

housndespli: it FUNNO factovisionation!!!

housndespli: ok i tell ye

 woody64: no thanks

housndespli: da most tallest da chess in da world, TEN MIPPOS TALL!! LIVE ON MOUNT PHEASALO IN DA CHICKISTAN!!!

 woody64 has disabled chat

***

NEW GAME (540596736) – housndespli vs. salenium(15 0 rated) (win: 6, draw: -2, loss: -10)
housndespli: hello!

housndespli: how are ye?

housndespli: 🙂

salenium: howdy

housndespli: ye like da chess pls?

salenium: yes

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: how many CHESS have ye pls?

salenium: 1

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: wery nice!

housndespli: which CHESS have ye pls?

salenium: one chess board

housndespli: thank! from what make pls? plasti or da irono?

housndespli: sorro if offendeth ye

housndespli: 🙁

salenium: its ok

housndespli: not want YE to hate da ME

salenium: plastic

housndespli: THANK!

housndespli: ye like da jokeo abt da chess??? want 4 me tell jokeo 2 ye?

housndespli: 🙂

salenium: ok

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: knocko knocko…

salenium: who is there?

housndespli: chessy

salenium: chessy who?

housndespli: chessy mipsta!!!

housndespli: hahaha!

housndespli: ye like?

salenium: hehehehe

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: ye have 1 4 me pls?

salenium: why are we here?

housndespli: not know, why pls?

salenium: because gravity keeps us here

housndespli: thank! wery fun!

housndespli: what meanos gravity pls?

salenium: gravity…..keeps you on earth

housndespli: thank!

salenium: makes you heavy]

housndespli: is nice! fun!

salenium: yes

housndespli: sorro if offendeth ye

housndespli: not want ye hate me 4 da jokeo

salenium: its ok

housndespli: ye want 1 more jokeo pls?

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: or prefer one fun facto abt da chess??!!

salenium: ok

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: in 1921 was first chess balloono!!!

housndespli: (or ye know already)

salenium: no

housndespli: in da balloono was 4 chess!!! and panda!

salenium: ok

housndespli: sorro if ye hate 2 me 4 say factovisio

housndespli: 🙁

salenium: its ok

housndespli: thank! wery thank!

housndespli: have ye many panda pls?

salenium: no panda

housndespli: sorro

housndespli: ye can obtaino easy?

salenium: no panda very rare

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: have ye da pheas?

salenium: pheasant ?

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: ye want hear da jokeo abt da panda/pheas pls?

housndespli: yes/no mip/mop?

housndespli: pheas?

housndespli: not pheas?

housndespli: pls?

salenium: ok

housndespli: sorro4offendethye

housndespli: thank!

housndespli: what da pheas say 2 da panda???

salenium: i dont know

salenium: what?

housndespli: whojanikabolokov!!!!

housndespli: fun!

housndespli: ye like?

salenium: i am lost

housndespli: sorro, mistakeo pon da jokeo

housndespli: what panda say to RUSSIA pheas?

salenium: what?

GAME OVER – housndespli vs. salenium – housndespli won by resignation (+6).

housndespli: whojanikabolokov!!! (say in russki, more FUNSKI!!!)

 

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